I'm not letting my husband read The Times again; it gives him ideas. Yesterday started off as normal, when he turned to the culture pages, looked at the Sunday Times best sellers lists, stabbed a finger at the fiction lists and quipped, 'Just checking out the competition.'
But yesterday he got a bit excited. 'Look, look! You could enter this. £30,000 first prize.' I reckon his head has been turned by the idea of all that cash, because what he was referring to was the 2015 Sunday Times EFG Short Story Award.
That's the equivalent of me entering the Tour de France based on a quick ride round the block on my nephew's chopper - with stabilisers still on.